Sharing

Day one of classes is over and no one died, not even me. :)

I was engaged in both classes (two yesterday and two today) and am eager to dive into the readings and assignments. Though, of course, I am also a little anxious. I have yet to learn some of the language of this field and our assignments are designed to encourage critical thinking and analysis...an expectation that feels to me like trying to write in a foreign language about a surgical procedure when I haven't been to med school.

What surprised me most about yesterday weren't the classes but a rather profound moment I had with a student colleague. We were idly chatting about a professor who is mildly intimidating. But we were also, together, reminding ourselves that the teachers are on our side and want us to succeed (true).

Out of nowhere I admitted to my colleague that the previous 24 hours had been full of dark-ish thoughts about past hurts and slights and wrong actions done to me....thoughts and memories that I would rather put behind me. But they showed up and were pretty insistent about being heard even if I wasn't welcoming them.

In my previous professional world, I would never had said anything like this, first of all. Second I would not expect the deeply sympathetic response I got from my colleague and finally, I was so moved by his reply. Something like "when big change is happening, everyone wants to show up again and see if there's a seat at the new table for them....even the crappy stuff that you had hoped had been sent away permanently."

I felt deeply heard by my colleague. Is there anything better?